Isaiah 43

So I have to say in the week before Christmas I was laying it all down before the Lord AGAIN in a heavy way. Asking Him to be sure to direct our path. God has given us SO much confirmation that we are to press on with these adoptions that it's silly and actually a reflection of my weak faith, to continue to ask for more. So I basically asked for a "NO", if we are going down the wrong road we need a blatant no. I can't take a hint here God... like the parents taking the kids back... to me that's not a no... that is a mountain you can move... so I need a NO, I need a NO that I will not question and it will hurt and I will grieve but I will respect it, because it's from you Lord.
So three days later in church, a woman who does not really know Rob or me or too much about our situation, comes up to us with a word that God had asked her to share with us....




"Do not be afraid for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy one of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom; I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored and I love you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will gather you and your children from east and west."



God never EVER ceases to amaze me. We have never received a blatant no. You see... it is the hundereds of God incidences like this that we cannot ignore just because the world does not seem to make sense.

Mighty Like a Rose

Our dad used to sing this around Christmas time along with a Roger Whittaker record he had... although he may not have had the best voice =) (and although we will were all girls)... and although thinking of him singing actually usually makes me crack up... he sang it because he was so sentimental. And now hearing it this Christmas I can't help think off all our kids. Now I know how my dad felt when he would sing this so sappily... and now I know why he was so sappy. =) The song is actually intended to remind us of baby Jesus... but my dad applied it to us, his own kids... I have never seen a man love his kids so much as our dad loved us, until I saw Rob with our own.

Sweetest little fellow everybody knows

don't know what to call him but he's might like a rose

looking at his mommy with eyes so shiny blue

makes you feel like heaven is coming close to you

when he's there sleeping in his little place

think I see the angels looking through the lace

when the dark is falling when the shadows creep

then they come up tip toe to kiss him in their sleep

Although Dad isn't here any more, he is STILL teaching me SO much!

MERRY CHRISTMAS DAD!

A Mother's Christmas Wish

I wish you love,

a life to share,

and to know you've found someone to care,

I hope that time is kind to you,

and that all your dreams come true.

This is a mother's Christmas wish for you.

I wish you peace in heart and mind,

to use your strength but still be kind,

to learn to give to learn to lose,

to live the truth in all you do.

This is a mother's Christmas wish for you.

And when you wake on Christmas day with children of your own,

I know then you'll see what you've meant to me.

You are the greatest gift of all.

A child was born on Christmas day,

a Shining Star to lead the way,

and Mary's love was pure and true,

and that's the way that I love you.

I pray that love will guide you through.

This is a mother's Christmas wish for you.

(Song by Olivia Newton-John)

Where We Are

Hey. Figured it was time for a nitty gritty post. Many people have been saying they've been checking our blog but there has not been an update. I guess I always just thought that meant they wanted an update of the kids... but now I understand, our friends want an update on us as a whole.





Well the kids... still with their mother as far as we know. A few weeks ago she did show up at the orphanage. From what we understand she says the kids really want to come back and she really wants to bring them back. The reason she cannot at this point is because the father does not consent to it. HOWEVER we are also led to believe the dad has not at all been doing his part to love or provide for the kids, so it's frustrating that the very one who is holding this process back, is also the one showing the least concern for the kids. The kids are not able to go to school right now and we are pretty sure they are not in a very good neighborhood. We are also not sure how well the family is eating, but we are trusting God is making a way.





So... how are we. Well in general good. God is giving us peace in the overall day to day living as we wait. I do have to admit it is getting harder lately however. It's hard to make so many people understand why we are still holding on. I wish I could explain it perfectly. I guess one very blunt way I have come up with is that stopping this process right now would be like aborting. You may think that sounds extreme but to us that's what it feels like. I guess it feels like that because we committed to these beautiful kids face to face, we told them we would never QUIT them AND most importantly we feel God led us to them. Since we feel God led us to them how do we just change our minds and move on?It would not be right... it would be like aborting at this point. It would be easier to move on at times. At times I think ok... let's just grieve and get the sadness over with and move on, but THAT does not seem to line up with what I feel God calling me to do right now. I WOULD LOVE to move quickly in whichever avenue was convenient to get a child in our home.. we are SO SO SO SO ready to be parents and every time we see a parent take their child for granted... UGGHH it's heart wrenching. BUT ultimately... we are NOT in this for us. WE are not in this to fill a nest that seems empty or to play house, we are in this for God, so we are trying to do it His way. If we feel God speak to us we have to listen, or else we are just lukewarm in our faith. I am too lukewarm in my faith already, I want to be bold like, Noah, Daniel and all those others who heard and obeyed even when it was hard and the odds seemed to be against them.





So some of you say, ok ok that's fine... but what IF it was not God's plan. What if you misinterpreted God. What if God just needed to use you in these kids life for a while and now it's time to move on. Well, it is God's plan, He shows me often again and again, yet just like you there are days I doubt myself but then I remember there is a reason for the hundreds of things that had to line up to make this all happen so far... and even if you were right, and I was wrong... I feel I have to be accountable for what I have committed to.


Let me share some of my most precious memories in my life. These all are part of not letting go so easily. These memories are what show you your child is yours. You see adoption is NOT AT ALL just shopping for a child, we get so bummed out for the people who just think it's that simple.


First of all just seeing our kids for the first time was precious all together, but the more intimate things are so amazing. Like holding your daughter and letting her drool down your shoulder because she is just so darn cute and sleeping so good and it feels so good to cuddle her even if it is almost 100 degrees and your sharing each other's sweat. Giving your daughter a shoulder ride while potty training... gross... yet very intimate. Having your son's soft voice say "mama, I love you" or singing "mama, papa, Caleb, Isabel" as you walk down Haitian streets hand in hand. Giving your daughter her very own dress and hearing her say "Ooh belle, Mesi mama" when she hardly ever talks and watching her put it on and twirl around in it. Giving your son his own baseball cap and flip flops. After a very long week of attempted bonding with your daughter she finally chooses on her own to point at you and say mama and smile. Watching your son watch his papa build and running barefoot onto the building site every 5 minutes to bring him water. Changing STINKY diapers full of doodoo from American food as opposed to rice and beans doodoo. Waking up to the feeling of things being stacked up on your belly only to realize it is your two year old daughter stacking things there as she organizes the room. The awesome feeling of your son crawling into bed with you at 4 in the morning just for his back to be scratched and to be by someone that loves him. Sleeping with your daughter because there are not enough beds and although it was the worse night's sleep ever, it was the BEST night ever just constantly feeling her near you as she went from sleeping on your belly to next to you to laying across you then above your head then down between your feet and then back on your belly and laying her cheek on yours and drooling on your face. Waking your son up in the middle of EVERY night so he doesn't wet the bed. Wiping up the floor and yourself after numerous potty training incidences of your daughters. I could go on and on. But what happens each time we go to Haiti is a lot of bonding. I mean.. think of having your kids for a couple months and then having them taken away and never knowing for sure if and when you will get them back... you might think because we are "just adopting" that it wouldn't be as bad as you think to be going through this... but it is. AND YET hear me out... our God says that not ONE DAY will be added to our lives through worry. SO we don't ... we try not to. But now you know why we can't give up.



AND yet I wonder if there are people who wonder why it seems we are twisting and pulling and waiting for an adoption of kids who have parents when there are many out there who don't have parents at all. Well... it seems odd to us too at times and yet all we can say is, we love these kids and are trying to be obedient to God's will.



So the Nitty Gritty... well I have about 5 minutes of cry time every day lately. But I am fine.. honestly, crying is therapeutic... it is GOOD that I'm crying...cause I am usually a hold it inner. I am happy overall. This is a season in our life in which God is molding us... sometimes being molded hurts but the results are beautiful.



Rob is doing well too. About a week or two ago he was really missing the kids and struggling, but seems to be back in the saddle. He is so so busy with work... praise God and yet it's tiring to him.



We are unfortunately moving forward STILL with out homestudy.. SURPRISINGLY I know. We have just had a lot of requirements and we did slow down a bit due to the snag we are going through. We are at the end of it however. Things are coming together with paperwork though. We chose to move forward on our end.


I will try to keep you all more up to date on a regular basis.

So...how long will we wait? How long would you wait for YOUR kids to come home?
Praying for the ultimate Christmas Miracle.

Christmas Wish List...

I know this may shock some of you... but the number two thing on Rob and Hope's Christmas Wish List is a Piano! We've both always just wanted one in our home and I would love to learn to play it!! If you have a used Piano you would like to get rid of... please let us know and we would love to work something out with you!! Caleb would love it too some day!

There is no new news on the kids yet, but please continue to pray! God is big enough!!!

May HIS will be done!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

SO THANKFUL!

We have to admit, it was the hardest Thanksgiving EVER for the both of us. Not to form a pity party, but just to voice. We were SO SO SO humbled yesterday. We sat down TWICE to tables that were so full of food... it couldn't all fit on the tables actually. And desserts to boot. I mean sometimes I hate being a spoiled American... I know that sounds weird, but when you step off the front porch of America and onto the doormat of the rest of the World you realize what we take for granted! It was a nice day, to get together with family, and God did remind us to be thankful, not irritable. But we sat at those tables and all either of us wanted to do was cry and FedEx our food to Haiti. It is amazing how simply three hours away there are people only dreaming about food, we don't even know if our own kids ate yesterday, and we sat there surrounded by abundance. It makes us want to start a new tradition of eating hot dogs on Thanksgiving and sending all the money spent on preparing a huge meal, to those who DO need it. And yet, God does not want us to sit around being grumpy because of all we have, He really wants us to appreciate it. Do we really live out Thanksgiving the way God would intend it though. I mean I caught myself thinking about the years I sat around at thanksgiving , thinking of SHALLOW things that I was thankful for and thinking it was just a day to be with family. From now I on I want it to be a day that anyone would FIRST find our family on our faces before GOD in thankfulness... and I mean that... not just going around the table and trying to think of something we are thankful for, but truly MOVED to worship the Lord for what we have. We have been humbled. Thank you God! Forgive us for taking your gifts for granted!! Thank you everyone for your prayers! WE ARE SO SO THANKFUL for each and everyone one of you!!! Please continue to pray for our kids and their family.

Real Inner Champion

"Do you know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air."

- 1 Corinthians 9:24-26

Yep... these are pictures of me believe it or not. Funny huh!? Well, I'm not sure why it's on my heart this morning to write this but it is... so I will. I was a runner in high school. I LOVED IT! And I loved running over hurdles especially. I mean... I can't imagine doing it anymore... but just talking about it... that passion is still there... running over hurdles... what an awesome challenge. Often my left knee was swollen and black and blue from hitting the hurdles on the way over... at times (just a couple) my back or shoulder was scraped up from flipping over the hurdles... but that is what made it fun!!! That was the challenge... to better myself. Well I was decent... not GREAT... but decent and my senior year I finally made it to regionals to compete to go to states... and well... I missed states by a 10th of a second. What a heartbreak that was... but if I would have listened to my coach and avoided fear... I would have gone on.

You see in hurdling you can take 4 or 3 steps between hurdles. Of coarse 3 is much quicker... but it requires switching which leg you go over the hurdle with. To me that was "too hard" but in my coaches eyes... it was certainly obtainable. He felt I had enough in me to do it... I thought I was too short. He saw reality and I saw lack.

SO... it's all about where we keep our eyes right!!?? Keeping our eyes on the prize and what we certainly could be capable of if we tried, or settling for what SEEMS to be true without even trying.

So... this adoption... well we are going to three step through it.

Transparent VS Translucent

Transparent: "transmitting light rays so that objects on the other side may be distinctly seen; capable of being seen through; neither opaque or translucent" - Webster

Translucent: " letting light pass but diffusing it so that objects on the other side cannot be clearly distinguished" - Webster

So if God is The Light... which one would He have us be!?

Don't get me wrong... there is a time and a place and even an asking from God for us to be translucent about times in our lives from time to time. (Remember all the times He would do miracles and ask people to say nothing about them) However... in the grand scheme of things, how will a hurting world see the light of Christ if we never let them see into OUR world, if we never let them see out realness. I think the unbelieving world NEEDS to see that Christians walk through CRUD in their lives too... the differences isn't an oh so holy and great life, it's HOW we handle the crud... does that make sense? Even other believers need to be encouraged by seeing into each other's lives. Too often we DON'T let this happen because we keep our eyes on those who will be negative rather than the multitude who will be blessed by seeing in.

I know that not everyone feels it's ok to be transparent... I have been hearing even that we might want to be less transparent about our situation. And I would totally agree that it would be easier, and some people are called to do that so that the disbelief of others doesn't interfere with what God is trying to do... but God is asking us to be transparent.

It is hard in a sense... people think we are a little nutty to continue believing. BUT it is in our transparency God will get the glory He deserves one way or another. So for us, we felt God asking us to be transparent right from the beginning. HE KNEW, it would help others in their walk, but He also knew it would help US in OUR walk. Being transparent... we needed to lay it all out there... what do we believe... and are we going to stick to it. It has been awesome, even though it has been very raw at times. We feel like our transparency has been God's way of pulling us out of mundane quick sand religion, into raw belief... and we love it!

Thanks For Your Continued Prayers!

Blaze's Witness

Hey Everyone!! Time for a plug for Blaze's sake! Month's ago God gave me a beautiful horse to teach me many life lessons. If you are interested in seeing any of these lessons feel free to visit! I also posted JUST today, an awesome story from a friend! I think you'll find it inspiring!! Blessings. And thanks again for all your prayers, comments, love and support!!!

God's Lessons Through A Horse

http://blazespage.blogspot.com/

Glory Magnified By Shadows

As we drove to church this morning, I caught myself thinking about how morning is my favorite time of the day. What I really like about it is the way the shadows and the bright rising sun mix. I look at how the beams of sunlight hit the bright fall trees in contrast to the shadows... and I have to say... the shadows make the sunny spots stick out even more. If it weren't for those LONG morning shadows, I don't think I would appreciate the beauty of the morning like I do.

So it is with life. If we didn't have to go through shadows in life... we wouldn't appreciate what we really have as much, would we. SO during this shadowy time, I rejoice because as I sit in the shadow, I see all the beauty of the good things that I DO HAVE in my life! And although I could think of this shadow as gloom... I don't. I will continue to think of myself as being under the shadow of God's wings! And I continue to believe.

As I prayed for the kids this morning in church, I closed my eyes and the Holy Spirit helped me to envision a mighty King riding His horse through the streets of Haiti. He was searching out the birth father of our children. He found him napping in his house and knelt at his bedside to minister to him. And I thought... only OUR King would humble himself to come to the bedside of one of his children to minister. Of course in my ignorance, I was standing right by the shoulder of the Lord cheering Him on as He made their father's heart right. The King however, lovingly told me to step back and allow Him to minister to His son. He was not rejecting me, but reminding me of my place. He does NOT love Caleb, Isabel and Daniel's Dad any less than he loves me. He is not going to just hand a miracle to us and rip something away from him. He is giving their father a chance to listen and correct his heart. A time to grow and be challenged. He reminded me that HE COULD just miraculously solve all this quickly, but in that, growth would not happen and He would not see their father's faith strengthened but possibly weakened and frustrated. A good parent does not give food to one of His children and forget about the others. He feeds them all and gives them all His equal attention, love, time and support. He gives us all time and works tenderly with us. I have been humbled... as I sit in awe of my God! Praise Him!!

Still praying!!!

Thank you to everyone for all your support!!! We are still praying and expecting the best. We are supposed to pray expectantly, and so that is what we press on doing. God is sustaining us and giving us peace. Love to all of you!!! Please thank the people who are praying for us that we don't even know! We have had several messages stating that "people" are praying for us!!! We are grateful!!!!

Potter's House (um..and then some)

Today I am SO SO THANKFUL for our awesome church family. I have to say they deserve credit for being humble and willing to serve each other and not making church a scheduled, program based show. Today after worship Pastor Carla was prompted to have people pray over me and for Rob and I and the adoption. I mean they "stopped everything" right before the sermon, had me stand up where I was, had people around me lay hands on me and everyone else stretch their hands toward me and pray. I mean ME.. I am one out of HUNDREDS at that church!!!! Do you know how many churches would just say "well... if we do that for you we would have to do that for EVERYBODY" instead of just obediently praying. Uggghhhh... we are so blessed! She prayed for a great PUSH to get the process moving. She hadn't even heard the down side of the roller coaster yet... I believe she was just being obedient to God's prompting... because this isn't over yet. It was so humbling to have faith family, I mean MANY MANY people, stop what they were doing and PRAY just for us and the kids... and no one rolled their eyes or grumbled about it to my knowledge. Not many churches do this and I praise God that He is convicting more and more of His children to minister this way. Praise God for churches that are REAL!!! Praise God for churches that care about EVERY part of the body and try their best to let no one get lost in the shuffle! Praise God for Pastors that take the limelight off themselves and minister to the church obediently. PRAISE God for people who KNOW He is still the SAME as ever, He still does MIRACLES!!! He still SPEAKS!!!! He still HEALS!!!! Thank you Potter's House for loving us and blessing us today. Your prayers WILL come to fruition!


One more thing... totally unrelated to Potter's House... Just in general...
I REALLY need to vent...

Do you want to know the most frustrating part of this process actually... people that pity us... I mean their intentions are "good"... I love them, they obviously love us... don't get me wrong (and please don't mistake pity with showing you care... we still need to see THAT... we LOVE all the cards, calls and notes we've been getting... don't be afraid to show us you care just due to my impatient spat here). I'm sorry, I have to get it out. It's people that think this is the end, people that have lost faith even though they still think they have it. COME ON!!! WE CAN'T give up just after a couple of bumps. I honestly have caught myself trying to apologize because there are people who honestly think I am in denial... so I talk differently to those people as if I NEED to be in denial for their sake because they have given up on God being AWESOME. Forgive me God!! I'm sorry but...sometimes I want to yell... "People WHERE has your FAITH GONE"!!! He tells us to worry NOT... it does not add a minute to our lives... do you know worry and discouragement are lack of faith... and I am not pointing fingers... I worry and I get discouraged... and I am right now to extent... but I am willing to TRY to STOP doing that and ask God to refocus me on His truth I WILL NOT DWELL in negativity. I mean NOAH... how hard would it have been to be NOAH and build that "silly" ark!!! THAT was faith!!! And that's only ONE example. That's how we should still be living today! Do you wonder why false religions seem to be drawing more people... because Christians LACK belief in the very thing they believe!!!!!! If you are losing faith, please read your Bible and regard it as truth... EVERY bit of it... not just the parts you can explain... if that's the way you read the Bible then you have only faith in yourself and that gets you NOWHERE...or, actually.... somewhere... I would rather not see ANYONE go! I know it takes time for us to grow and embrace things in our walk and build our faith... but some of the people that have given up on God surprise me... they have been with God for quite some time. WHERE in the Bible does God say... and now I shall STOP doing miracles... now I shall stop talking to my people. Umm... honestly if you find it let me know... I will apologize. Yes, I still believe there are people SO FULL of God's Spirit (because they allow them selves to be) that when their SHADOW falls on believers needing healing... healing COMES!!! It HAPPENED IN THE BIBLE.... what in the world do WE think has changed??? We CLING to that same faith awaiting the return of our children once again! And I am totally NOT pointing fingers at ANYONE here... I love everyone who is supporting us, no matter how they know best to do it... I'm just saying... if you know better... stop being so silly.

ok
yes.... that feels better
I think I'm going to be just fine.

It's A Fast Moving Rollercoaster...

... and we happen to be in the valley again! But since it HAS been such a fast moving rollercoaster we will only accept that it means we will be back on top again in no time! Uggghhh.. yes.. more gut wrenching news! Caleb, Daniel and Isabel are once again back in their mother's care. The appointment at IBESR only came to prove that the mother cannot even leave the kids at the Orphanage without her husband's consent... let alone file any case against him for abandonment. So our kids are back with their birthmom at the time, again. They tried to contact the birthdad, but he hung up on them SOOOOOO PLEASE PRAY HARD... EARNESTLY!!!!!! Pray that God gives their mom strength and courage and provision... and please pray that their dad's heart is changed. It is not beyond God to do this!!! The dad, from what we understand has not done a thing to help with the kids... so it is frustrating that he won't HELP... but he also won't let them GO!!!! Please pray, please do NOT grumble, please do not loose faith and PLEASE stay positive... when God's word goes forth... so it is!!! And so... those kids will be here eventually!

I want to give Three Angel's credit where it's due also... my husband and I have been around the world and to many third world countries. We have many friends in far away places and have seen a lot of sad cases... we have to say the staff at Three Angels is among the most amazing we have ever met. And what an awesome orphanage!!! Do you know that Three Angels is a RARE case!!! It has love, health, cleanliness and comfort.. that is not what Rob and I are used to seeing... and sure the kids are sick once in a while, so are American kids, (many third world kids are DIEING.. so being sick is nothing) sure there are toys scattered about and there is dirt on the floor at TIMES (mind you... only at times... I have never seen women mop as much as those nannies do)... I believe there is dirt on my floor too!!! I just wish I could lay it all out there and just tell it like I have seen it... I can't even express how impressed I am with this place!!!!! I have seen much... RARELY have I seen such a blessed place in a third world country. THANKS Three Angels. We are impressed... you are amazing in our eyes!!!

PLEASE BE IN PRAYER EVERYONE!! THANKS!! - Hope and Rob

Proof...

Our babies are back! (See details below) These are recent pictures of them since their return. Please continue to keep the process in your prayers. The mom showed up today and did what she needed to as far as we know... keep praying for the dad to do the right thing.

Please continue to pray for us as we consider also adopting their big brother Daniel (this is a pict. of Isabel.... not Daniel). It does not make any sense to us to do such a thing financially... but GOD rules this situation AND our finances... we are just waiting on His voice. God please bless everyone involved!!!

THEY'RE BAAAAAAACK

Yes.... they are back. The story is the mom does not want them, the dad has not been around to help with them, and yet he doesn't want to sign off. SO the kids are at the Orphanage... please pray that the dad's heart will soften and that he will see what is best... pray that the kids are safe as well as their mom. Please pray for her as I am sure her heart aches right now. Pray that she clings to Jesus and feels His arms wrap around her tonight! Please pray that she stays firm in her decision as flip floping like this is hard on everyone involved. Pray that the dad will quickly decide to sign off with no problems. These kids are meant to be here... home with us. And we do not say that out of any disrespect to their birth parents... we say that because God has shown us that and we will not let the worldly circumstances tell us otherwise! Please pray and praise God with us!!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAH... and their older brother Daniel is now with them at the Orphanage too. We don't know that we could financially afford adopting three although we are totally willing to... so please pray for God's will here. MAYBE we will adopt all three! MAYBE there is a family in Midland that is called to adopt him. We really need to seek God on this issue. All our love! See what GOD can do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS!!! Thank you to those of you who prayed while you were in Haiti. Thank you to the men who prayed with the dad... please continue to pray!

Heartbroken... But Not Hopeless

Caleb and Isabel's biological parents have taken them back today. It is now a hard day for us and yes we are heartbroken... BUT we NEVER EVER want any of you to give up on this situation or look at it in despair... God is bigger and WE will continue to believe for a miracle. God has a plan here, and He will reveal it in His time. Who are we to qustion God!!?? Many people have been praying, many people still are... and God hears our cries, please continue to pray. If we turn from this situation now and just shrug our shoulders and stay in a state of mourning... we would be forgetting to acknowledge this all is happening for a reason. We won't sit and grind out teeth until it makes sense... that's where faith comes in! We don't HAVE to figure it all out... that is the beauty of faith... it eases our minds, and we refuse to bow to this world and act as though it has won and caused us grief. Discouragenment is a choice! We have the Holy Spirit within us... that means we have all the miraculous strength we need to get through anything... so we don't feel that we need to come to terms with anything... only God knows the terms anyway!! All we ask now is you ask the Holy Spirit to rush to our children (yes... they are still ours) and ease their grief, and keep them healthy and safe. PLEASE pray for THEM!!!! We know you have been praying for us... the peace that surpasses all understanding is falling upon us. Thank you!!! Don't give up on this situation! We aren't! God is good and our faith won't waiver... and contrary to belief... we are NOT in denial... I mean for pete's sake I am crying as I write this, BUT if we give up our hope in God... what do any of us have!!!??? WE WILL NOT be Christians who serve a small God! WE WILL NOT be waves tossed in the sea!!! This world will NOT dictate to us! God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow... He still can part seas, bring the dead to life, release captive and heal the sick... He can still do anything... it's not denial... it's Truth! All our love!!! Thanks for you support!!!! Love Hope and Rob

Issues

So the issue at hand... Caleb and Isabel's mom wants them back. The situation they would be returning to sounds like it would be the same as the one they left. Their mom says her heart breaks for her kids and she can't stand the thought of being without them (understandably). And yet, they will not be able to give total proper nutrition or any education to the kids. We are praying hard and need your prayers. Pray for the best for the kids. God sees the whole picture and we do not, so pray also for our peace. It seems strange to us that it would not be of God that they come home to us. God knows we would do all we could to keep the kids in touch with their family and raise them to love their culture. And what opportunities they would have. Please just pray hard and declare scripture over them. We will let you know when we know anything else.

PLEASE...

Ask the Holy Spirit how you can pray for us today, and please pray earnestly. Thanks!

The First Day of School

So here we are... the first day of school!!! I can't pretend to know what their day was really like since I wasn't there... but these pictures say a lot.









I especially like that once Izzy got dirty... she smiled! We are so proud of our kids!!! God please give them the knowledge they need to excel in school and give them the spiritual knowledge they need to see your will in their lives! And give their teachers patience. You-you thank the Nannies for us on all their work getting our children ready for this very important first day of school. And thank YOU for doing all you do too!!! And thank you Shannon, teachers, and Alix we appreciate all you do to keep our children educated!!

HOMESTUDY PART 2

Well we survived it! Today we went in and both had to be interviewed seperately about our lives growing up and our families, how we were disciplined and... our (and our spouse's) strengths and weaknesses. SO... I said one of my strengths was that I was openminded.... ROB SAID that one of my weaknesses was that I was NOT openminded!!!! Other than that... I think we did fine!! Our case worker is such a sweet lady and has made the entire process very comfortable!

Last night we went to transcultural training. It was great... it made us deal with the issue that not all people are comfortable with transracial families, and some people altogether resent it... so how do we react to such situations? Basically with grace, but ZERO tolerance! We learned to be bold and yet gracious in commenting in return to dumb comments etc... so our kids see by our example that they don't just have to brush off the comments and accept them, but that there is a way to be loving and yet stand up for youself and your heritage and culture. "Black jokes" for example... no longer ok to sit by and roll our eyes and ignore the situation. Time to lovingly take a stand.

We almost have all we need together for our Dossier. Everyone helping us put it together has been very quick and helpful! SO FAR!!! Keep the process in your prayers!! And the funding too!

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

Home Study Part 1

Well... we made it through the first phase of our home study! Mainly we were interviewed on our marriage... which I always love to talk about... so I was excited!!! And our reasons for adopting and if we have any fears, or family members that we see having a problem with our adoption. We go to Transracial Training on the evening of September 12th and our next part of our home study is the next day on September 13th. SO please just keep us in your prayers on those days. We are praying that we will learn all that God wishes us to. Please also continue to pray for funding. We still need about half of our grand total.... so about ten thousand dollars. We also ask for prayers as we put together our Dossier... there is a lot of paper work to get together... pray that we are accurate and don't miss a thing! THANKS!!!

BRAGGIN'

Check out Anne's Blog, Lizzie's Blog (you will have to check her older posts) and Katie's Blog.... you can click on their links down on the right side of this page. If you do this... you will see pics of our kids... these three young ladies have all been a huge blessing to our kids!!

I'm just guessing...

... you would feel this way too! Daddy has to leave in the morning. Please pray for our kids... they will be fine, they are in an awesome place with a lot of love. But when daddy leaves... their hearts are gonna flip flop for a while... and so will ours! Thanks!

Rob Working on Halo's Medical Clinic

Just a quick picture update on what Rob is doing in Haiti... and get this... unless things did not wind up as intended... after THIS he takes the kids to dinner and plays with them tucks them in, wakes them up, gets them ready for the day... goes to breakfast and BACK to work!!! I am so proud of you Rob! So many men draw a line... but you always give life your all in your own quiet patient way! I have to say... I am married to the most amazing man in the world! I love you!!!

Praise HIM... not just what He does

I completely love this picture... it has to be one of my favorites. I was in the nursery one morning while all the children were dancing and singing and I happened to get this exact shot of Isabel shouting " ALLELUIA"!!! And honestly... I had barely heard her voice until then... what a blessed first word for a mama to hear! And a girl after my own heart... praising God with both hands in the air!!!!

This picture is perfect for today because God had an awesome talk with me this morning about praise. As I sat and started to pray... I always try to praise God first and not just lay my list before Him. We were created to praise so that is what we should strive to do first in our prayer life... well, just as I feel I'm starting to get a hold of that concept... God takes me in a little deeper and tells me to FIRST praise Him for who He is and His character THEN praise him for what He has done.

He told me... with our spouses and children... when they praise us... we would rather hear them truly praise our character and not just say "I love you so much because... you always clean the house"... We would rather hear them say something like... "I love you so much for your giving nature, you never hesitate to bless people... by the way... thank for cleaning the house today!" ... Right!?? So it totally straightened me out once He showed it to me in that light. And as the picture shows above... children have got it right... I guess for the very young, I rarely hear them list in their prayer life that they praise Jesus for all He's done when they are truly praising Him, but more often in a sense it's just ... "ALLELUIA!!!!!"

Papa Is Coming!

Rob gets to go to Haiti tomorrow! Please keep him and his traveling companions Dennis, Steve and Sharon in your prayers! He is so excited to see the kids again! And I think it's a good thing I had supplied them all with a healthy supply of stickers!!!

Sooooo.... many of you have been asking for the stories..... from our last trip.... and I guess I have to admit I have been hiding out a bit. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure why... but I needed a little space... it is hard to talk about constantly. I feel bad about that. This adoption is SO SO SO exciting. But I feel like I get in this prerecorded mode when people ask how things are going, and I have been praying to get out of that and just be able to be candid with people!!! God is helping me tremendously with that. SO I WILL TELL YOU THE STORY YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.... THE MOMENT OF ASKING...

Well... I wish I could say this was the expression we saw when we asked Caleb and Isabel to be our kids... but to our surprise it wasn't. Honestly, now that we look back and understand it though... we know why it wasn't. When we got to the Orphanage we were going to a wait a day until we asked them to be our kids... just to get reacquainted and not throw too much at them at once... but since the other children kept coming up to us and asking us if we were going to be C+I's parents... along with a couple nannies... we knew things needed to be taken care of sooner than we thought. SO up to You-you's apartment we marched. We sat down with the kids and You you explained that we wanted to have a talk with them. Caleb's face turned serious as he fidgeted with things around him Izzy just kinda sat there in her own world tugging on her barbie doll's hair as only a Haitian girl can. Rob then proceeded to ask if they would like to be in our forever family.... there was a slight pause that seemed to go on for 45 minutes... and I was thinking .... "SERIOUSLY??? We're going to be the first parents that have been rejected by the children they hope to adopt???? Oh what am I going to do??? How should I respond????" And then..... Caleb... looking downward and still fidgeting said....

Wi!! (FYI.. that's YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


So he said it cautiously... and at first it worried me. Concerned about his happiness I hoped that he REALLY DID want to be ours. I did NOT want to be out of God's will or out of Caleb's will!!! SO it was hard when I didn't get the reaction that I had already played over and over in my own head. But... within minutes Caleb started to grin as he processed it all... Izzy kept tugging at Barbie... which we interpret as acceptance. =) We gave them both laminated sheets of pictures of us and our house and pets... we went down stairs and I watched from behind the scenes as Caleb went into the courtyard to show some friends the picture of his new home and new parents and pets. I saw him smile as he showed his friends... I needed to see that... and I saw him continue to just stare at all the pictures as he walked off by himself. Oh what was going through his head??? I wish I knew... was he scared, was he excited, both??? Was he looking at the picture of that horse and saying "ooohhhh boy... I hope I don't have to ride that..." and "OH BROTHER... how am I going to live with TWO WAH WAH's????" (Wah Wah is the name of the guard dog at the Orphanage... and Haitians are not nuts about dogs) I wish I could just get in both their little minds!!!!! I mean look in these eyes... what was IZZY thinking??????? We will touch more on that in another entry!!!!! =) She does cuddle good... I think that's an awesome sign!!! And I do know Caleb's love for us was extremely apparent as the week unfolded. He told us he loved us COUNTLESS times... with that priceless grin of his. And we could tell he meant it!!!! Why didn't he smile and jump up and down right when we asked him.... I think he was surprised that we were asking him for many reasons... I think he knew from our trip in MAY that he would be ours. We spent a lot of time with him... and I also think God confirmed it in his spirit that we were his parents. So... um.... mom and dad... why are you asking me something I have already said yes too in my heart??? I think that was what was going through his mind along with the other countless things that may go through a little boys mind at 6 years old, who has been given up by one set of parents only to stay at an orphanage for a year and to have a new set of parents on 7-7 07!!! Now he has a family that "will never Quit Him" as You you told him the day we left!!! We will never quit either of you! You're our babies and we will do anything for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting Familiar With God's Word...

Blaze... my pillar of fire...

Beautiful isn't he??!!! I can't share with you in a short time all the lessons God has taught me through this horse!!! He has truly shown me the way, just like the pillar of fire showed the Israelites the way in Exodus. It amazes me the way God can use creatures like Him to touch our lives. I don't regret buying this horse for a second! Even if someone took him from me tomorrow... I would be HORRIFIED... but I would rather have had him for the little time that I have... than not at all. He has taught me to be courageous, gentle, patient and firm... and today he taught me something else...

I truly believe God is calling me to start a horse camp for abused children... this I already know. There are so many out there for emotionally and physically impaired children... and they bless those kids like crazy...but I feel abused kids are in need of the same thing. In order to start digesting the fact that I will basically be building an ark in my front yard (meaning... this all just seems impossible) God has prompted me to pray over my horse and to also read my Bible in his pasture. Well, just yesterday I sat in a chair in the pasture reading my Bible and it caught Blaze's interest. He was very cautious of those big white noisy pages and wasn't quite sure he liked them at all. As I turned the pages his eyes got bigger and bigger and his ears flattened back, CLEARLY God's word was intimidating to Blaze... that Big book... SO many pages, it seemed like way too much to take in... and so confusing... he would rather just stay away than try to understand it. Then God revealed to me how many people there are in the world that feel the same way Blaze does about His word. It seems way too intimidating or overwhelming and it's just easier to stay away... but then...

Blaze surprised me... he started to graze nervously as he inched closer and closer to my feet. Once he got close enough he picked up his head slowly, eyes still bulging he reached his neck way forward and sniffed my Bible... the wind caught one of the pages suddenly, catching and already tense Blaze off guard, this set Blaze to quickly hop backwards about 2 feet. He just stood there, with his front legs as straight as toothpicks and a little bit farther apart from each other than usual. His head was held high, as was his tail and now his eyes were SO big it looked like he was crossing them. Much to my surprise, he stretched his neck out again and cautiously sniffed the Bible. In time, He started to understand that it wouldn't hurt him and he started to slowly accept it. Eventually I stood up to pray and I left my Bible on the chair and he just COULDN'T ignore it any longer... he walked up to it and wiggling his top lip back and forth in a Mr. Ed manner, he started turning the pages... then, yes, he got comfortable enough he tried to eat the pages... that's where I stepped in...

But honestly... if the Word of God, the Bible, seems intimidating to you... just give it time... don't ignore it, and with the help of God... it will start to make more and more sense... then you will get a point just like Blaze did... where you just can't ignore it, then you will love it so much... you will want to take it all in (preferably not by literally eating it). So I hope you learned something from Blaze today. And if you already KNEW this... I hope you will be able to use this story to touch a life! God bless you as we all get more familiar each day, with God's Word!

WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE A NEW MOM AND DAD...

REMIND ME

So, it's funny how after being in a third world country... you have no real desire to blog and whatnot. Most the world lives without... and blogging just seems so minimal when you get home from seeing so many hurting people. And you really have no desire to focus on self... after what you just saw. So I appologize for my lack of updating but I feel I am still quietly focusing on God's people in Haiti. Out of respect for them, I just don't feel like jumping back on the bandwagon of taking life for granted quite yet.

I know many of you are waiting for news... and I will try my best to share regulalry soon...our kids certainly are something to be celebrated... but I have to admit, Rob and I are humbled, we are just doing what we are supposed to. So many people are praising us for adopting... but I just look at the hurt and how people live in Haiti... and I just want to say... please don't praise us... praise the Haitian mother who is trying her best to just feed her children SOMETHING so she doesn't have to give them up, praise the Haitian wife who works 12 or more hours a day and only earns 5 dollars that day and STILL goes home to take care of and love 5 children, praise the Haitian women who are taking care of our children for us while we can't, praise "twenty something" year old American women who have given up the prime of their life to live it with Jesus and 38 kids in Haiti... WHO DOES THAT AT THAT AGE!!!!!??, praise the Haitians for still being confident that there is a God when they see death, starvation and crime around them as a normal part of life. PRAISE GOD for the strength He gives the Haitian people. I just don't even want to talk about us or the adoptions or anything sometimes... it's not all about us... Rob and I??.... we're spoiled brats just trying to be obedient.

Can you tell I am going through some serious emotions coming back to this lovely rich country we live in!!! Sorry to sound so negative... that's not my point... but I just feel while I am here blogging away as I sit on my comfy bed... there is a Nanny willing to stay up all night with my baby girl if she is sick, there is another Nanny dressing my son every day and making sure he has food and a bath.... AND THEY STILL HAVE TO GO HOME TO THEIR OWN KIDS!!! Praise God! I am humbled!!! SO SO SO HUMBLED!!! I will write more soon... but I hope this blog entry touches you today and makes you thankful for what you have. I know I am so blessed!

Father God, we all pray you would bless Haiti and release them from the bondage they are in. Thank you for the awesome hardworking Hatians who have inspired me and touched my life!!! I am blessed! Everytime I complain Jesus, remind me of what I have, remind me that I have more freedom that 3/4 of the WORLD!!! Remind me again... that most people in the world can't flush their toilet and only DREAM of showers. Remind me again how my children will never have to eat scraps from the local garbage pit, not knowing what it is but just hoping it will fill their stomach, remind me Lord how blessed I am to have a husband who adores me and how blessed we both are to have JOBS!!! We think Michigan's economy is bad... HA HA HA.... remind me Lord how blessed we are in Michigan! Remind me Lord how awesome it is that my children will not have to worry about being in the clutches of typhoid and malaria! REMIND ME AND HUMBLE ME LORD!!!! I WANT TO NEVER EVER COMPLAIN AGAIN.... AND WHEN I DO... REMIND ME!!!

WE'RE BACK

And we have so much to catch everyone up on!!!!! We have so much to say... but little time at the moment since family members are waiting for pictures and stories... but in a nutshell...

HE CHECKED YES!~~~They are ours!!!! What a blessing!!!

Caleb David wanted a new name!!! So Now he is Caleb David!!!! Meaning Faithful, Bold, Beloved!! Isabel Guillanda (meaning consecrated to God) is a sweetheart and yet has a temper matching mine from that age... (she is a 2 year old that was way out of her element last week, we give her credit! We were blessed by her silliness and cuddling too!)

We met their birth-parents!!! Lovely people!!! (I got to pray with their mom!!)

Most of all.... THEY CHECKED YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE'RE OFF!!!!

We leave tomorrow night to head to Detroit and fly out Saturday morning! Then we get to see the kids!!! Please be praying for us and the entire team of people going. There will be a medical clinic conducted while we are there... please pray that the people God intends to show up are the people who get there and pray for strength and safety for all the volunteers!!! What an awesome week we have ahead of us! Praise God!!!! HOLD ON DAVID AND ISABEL... oh... who am I kidding!!!???

I am the one that needs to hold on!!!!!!! Well... ok... they might need to hold on... they have a lot of kisses coming their way!!!!

Baby Dylan??? Are you coming????

No... we have not decided to adopt more children! But our family is growing! Our sister Amy is about to bring a new life into this world! Baby Dylan... soon!!! Please pray for safe arrival and that he grows to love Jesus and have a happy life!!!! He has a great mommy and daddy!!!! We will brag him up as soon as we can!!!

THANK YOU!!!

OUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE THE MOST AWESOME EVER!!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT THIS WEEKEND! WE HAVE BEEN HUMBLED AND BLESSED MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO FAR!!!!

We have earned over 600 dollars from the garage sale so far! God is good!!! We have one day left!!! Please pray that after the day is through we have made 1000 dollars... or more!!! That would be an awesome goal! Please pray also that people would generously give, as many have, with extra donations!!! We also have the auction coming up Sunday! PLEASE PLEASE pray with all your might that this too will be an extremely profitable benefit and that MANY MANY people show up to bid!!!! Thanks!!! - Hope and Rob

I have a crush!!!

Isn't he so handsome!!!!! I honestly have to say... I never knew I could love so intensely again! I have a crush on both our kids, don't get me wrong... but when we go to Haiti in a couple of weeks, we will officially be asking the kids if we could be their parents... and David is the one I expect to make the official decision. So, I have to say... I never felt this questioning, "does he really love me" feeling, since I wondered if Rob loved me in 6th grade. Do you know that feeling I mean? When you find your true love... or maybe your first crush and you are just dieing to know if that person loves you as much as you love them? You just wished you could read their mind!! I totally want to send David a letter that says "Do you love me? Will you be mine?... check yes or no"! I have a twinge of nervousness in me, thinking of that moment... when Rob and I ask David and Isabel be our kids... but mostly I have confidence, God has already confirmed to us that this is right in so many ways. I just can't wait for the moment David checks YES!!!!!!! And yes he is a graduate!!! What a boy!!! Congrat's David! We are SO SO SO proud of you!!! We can't wait to know you and Isabel more!!!

FIRST HOME STUDY MEETING!

Please pray for our first home study meeting tomorrow night at 7:00. It's just an initial informational meeting... but it is the start of something huge!!!!!

FEELING IT

SO... one thing (among others) that I learned in church today... is that the beautiful Aboriginal people of Australia still have something our culture has lost. They feel it! Before I tell you what that means... let me alert you to one thing we all need to know... Aboriginals were considered ANIMALS until 40 years ago! That means you could legally rape, kill or kidnap them and not get charged with a crime! What a horrible act of the Devil is that!!!!?? We need to pray for these beautiful people. Pray for the spiritual healing for these people as well as physical healing... their bodies have been shocked by the carbohydrate loaded diet that has been brought to society.

So what do they feel? The Spirit God has put in each of us. When these beautiful people great each other they prefer to touch the person they meet by a handshake or a hug in order to feel the Spirit inside the other person... sounds weird to us at first... but I believe it can be beautiful. So... I feel like today a wonderful aboriginal couple explained to me exactly what I felt when I touched my children for the first time... I felt the Spirit in them confirming to the Spirit in me that they were my children. NO DOUBT, NO going back... and NO DIVISION by physical differences. Did you feel that quickening in your Spirit with YOUR kids? Did you feel it the first time you hugged you husband before you even knew he was your husband? I believe God does allow us to experience each other in the Spirit, but we are often too busy and desensitized to feel it. Next time you hug someone... keep you Spirit alert!

Oh yeah... one more thing...Aboriginal people also believe we are ALL one family... BLOOD family, EVEN if we vary in color. They would welcome you or me, just as well as they would welcome someone we would classify as one of them. They do not see color... they see family. NO MATTER WHAT...they seriously believe (as do I) that we are all one family, with NOTHING dividing us. AMEN!!!!!!???????

GARAGE SALE!!!!

We just wanted to alert everyone about the most amazing garage sale you will ever attend!!!! It will be held at 757 N. 11 Mile at Rob's parents house! PLEASE come!!! It is right in between Mt. Pleasant and Midland... so there's no excuse for missing it!!! Why is it the most amazing garage sale ever you ask....? Well because every penny, dime or dollar spent will bring us all closer to seeing David and Isabel come home!!! AND you will get to take SOMETHING home!!! Something you have been needing, or looking for... YOU WILL find it here!!! I guarantee it... because it you DON'T I will HELP you find it!!!! =) Ok ok .... I will try not to be so pushy...but... it is for a great cause... and you have extra change in your pocket... I can hear it right now... seriously... I can... OH WAIT... Rob said he can hear it too... we know that sound so well... because we never hear it around here anymore.... =)

Ok....

So...

Seriously...

You're coming right?









How can you say no to these faces!!!!!!???

Oh and don't forget... the same weekend... to take a trip over to the Silent Auction at Barstow shelter. 1:00 on July first! There will also be AWESOME items there! Make it a Krotzer weekend!!!

AND.... if you don't know what CHALLENGE 100 is... take a look below! MANY have already taken the challenge. Will you!!!??? We only need 64 more donors to reach our goal!!!

We love you all!!!! - Hope, Rob, David and Isabel

The Beautiful Colors of Adoption!

Our children are a beautiful shade of brown, and we are a beautiful shade of white. And today God used the animal part of our family to remind us how beautiful it is when colors mix! God created us to go together!











Do you know how boring the world would be if God thought different colors shouldn't go together!!