So, it's funny how after being in a third world country... you have no real desire to blog and whatnot. Most the world lives without... and blogging just seems so minimal when you get home from seeing so many hurting people. And you really have no desire to focus on self... after what you just saw. So I appologize for my lack of updating but I feel I am still quietly focusing on God's people in Haiti. Out of respect for them, I just don't feel like jumping back on the bandwagon of taking life for granted quite yet.
I know many of you are waiting for news... and I will try my best to share regulalry soon...our kids certainly are something to be celebrated... but I have to admit, Rob and I are humbled, we are just doing what we are supposed to. So many people are praising us for adopting... but I just look at the hurt and how people live in Haiti... and I just want to say... please don't praise us... praise the Haitian mother who is trying her best to just feed her children SOMETHING so she doesn't have to give them up, praise the Haitian wife who works 12 or more hours a day and only earns 5 dollars that day and STILL goes home to take care of and love 5 children, praise the Haitian women who are taking care of our children for us while we can't, praise "twenty something" year old American women who have given up the prime of their life to live it with Jesus and 38 kids in Haiti... WHO DOES THAT AT THAT AGE!!!!!??, praise the Haitians for still being confident that there is a God when they see death, starvation and crime around them as a normal part of life. PRAISE GOD for the strength He gives the Haitian people. I just don't even want to talk about us or the adoptions or anything sometimes... it's not all about us... Rob and I??.... we're spoiled brats just trying to be obedient.
Can you tell I am going through some serious emotions coming back to this lovely rich country we live in!!! Sorry to sound so negative... that's not my point... but I just feel while I am here blogging away as I sit on my comfy bed... there is a Nanny willing to stay up all night with my baby girl if she is sick, there is another Nanny dressing my son every day and making sure he has food and a bath.... AND THEY STILL HAVE TO GO HOME TO THEIR OWN KIDS!!! Praise God! I am humbled!!! SO SO SO HUMBLED!!! I will write more soon... but I hope this blog entry touches you today and makes you thankful for what you have. I know I am so blessed!
Father God, we all pray you would bless Haiti and release them from the bondage they are in. Thank you for the awesome hardworking Hatians who have inspired me and touched my life!!! I am blessed! Everytime I complain Jesus, remind me of what I have, remind me that I have more freedom that 3/4 of the WORLD!!! Remind me again... that most people in the world can't flush their toilet and only DREAM of showers. Remind me again how my children will never have to eat scraps from the local garbage pit, not knowing what it is but just hoping it will fill their stomach, remind me Lord how blessed I am to have a husband who adores me and how blessed we both are to have JOBS!!! We think Michigan's economy is bad... HA HA HA.... remind me Lord how blessed we are in Michigan! Remind me Lord how awesome it is that my children will not have to worry about being in the clutches of typhoid and malaria! REMIND ME AND HUMBLE ME LORD!!!! I WANT TO NEVER EVER COMPLAIN AGAIN.... AND WHEN I DO... REMIND ME!!!
9 comments:
I am right there with you! Heck, it takes me 5 minutes to decide if i am going to flush a toilet & i am looking for a bucket to shower with!
I think anyone who has ever been to Haiti can relate to your feelings. Thanks for verbalizing it so eloquently!
I call what you are going through "re-entry shock".
or reverse culture shock?
Oh Hope, it is ok what you are feeling! take as long as you need. We will be here when you are ready!!!
Honestly I would worry if you didn't feel this way.
When I got back after my first trip I didn't want to talk to anyone, not even my husband! It took me a good two weeks to even think.
Love ya!
Thank you for sharing your feelings, like Kathy says, so eloquently. I felt like I'd been slapped hard in the face when I returned from my first trip. I was definitely in-between worlds and I was just stunned and disconnected from my "normal" life. I can't say that I have gotten over those feelings entirely, which I think is a good thing. Like you said, I don't complain much anymore about anything here! Yes...very humbling.
You have wonderful children. My husband and I have grieved about Caleb and Isabel since we made our choice. We knew that God led us to our children, Nata and Fritz, but we felt a connection to Caleb and Isabel too and felt the pain of "abandoning" them by not choosing them. We were overjoyed when we saw they were being adopted. I know this is probably a common thing because we all feel connected to lots of the kids, but wow, did we feel bad. I felt similarly towards Sarah and was so happy when Jamie found her.
Praise God and bless you and your new family!
hope, they're right: you said this very well! but, please please please don't praise us. i mean, sure, you can praise the haitian staff, but i like you am blessed to be here. you're blessed by your children and so am i. by all of your children. this IS my dream come true!
I hear ya YouYou (although God is proud of you and I adore you... but I totally hear you and I know you know how I feel)! I don't think it is totally a re-entry problem anymore either. I just got back from my 19th mission trip. And it is more like... I am finally getting it and this is the way I will look at life permanently now... and I'm glad. I just feel like after so many trips... each time I am more and more humbled, I remember feeling shocked the first few times, and now I just feel like my life outlook is changing. And yet it is a little to do with re-entry... but I almost want to say... I never want to NOT be this humbled... I never want to take things for granted again. I just don't know. I'm coming out of it a little... but in a way I DON'T want to come out of it!!! Thanks everyone for you comments! =) And for putting up with my rambles!!!
Rob-O and Hopie...I love you guys. I love your heart for the nations, for your children, for your friends, and definatly for God. Thanks for all you both have taught me and continue to teach me.
Amen!
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