Thursday, January 14, 2010

I'm sure you're wondering

And so are we. First of all praise God that the Orphanage David and Guillanda used to live in did not collapse and the children are all ok. I'm sure there are many employees however who have tragedy in their families and I am sure there are some that have not yet been heard from.

As for David and Guillanda's family... we know nothing and it may be a very long time before we know. The orphanage needs to work on their immediate concerns before they can send anyone to look for them of course so we are just trying our best to trust and put them in God's hands. Just please pray for them. And pray diligently.

Someone once told me when I was pregnant "Having your 'own' baby will help so much, you will love her so much more than David and Guillanda... you'll see... it's just different when they're 'your own'"

I can honestly say... that is not true at all. We think of David and Guillanda every day and this tragedy has proved more than ever that we love them just the same as Hannah. There is a deep connection that happened that we just honestly cannot explain. Although we totally respect that they have birth parents that love them and are raising them... they are in our hearts as our children too. We love them so much. If I could... I would go dig through rubble too and just honestly run through Petionville screaming their names like I did in my dream last night to see if anyone would answer. Maybe even just someone who knows them. When the news reports come on... I get close to the TV to see if maybe David or Guillanda are in the background. I don't know that I have ever had to lean on God as much as right now.

For those of you who have helped raise money for our adoptions of David and Guillanda, we still have it all in an account and we are seeking God on how best to use it during this crisis. It WILL be used now. We will not be keeping it for a future adoption as we have planned up to this point. When that day comes God will provide again if it's His will too. To keep the money during such massive need would be very selfish, and if you disagree, I love you... but I would love to sit you in the middle of Haiti right now and ask you to hold that cash in your hands and tell those people you would not help because you are going to save that money to build your future family as their current families are ravaged among them. So please understand... your efforts to raise this money for us... astonished us and BLESSED us and showed us how loved we are, now it's time to put all that fund raising to good work. Thank you. Little did you know back then what your money would REALLY be doing today.

I will keep you all updated as well as I can.

Friday, July 10, 2009

David and Guillanda

About a week ago David was seen "begging" in the streets. The orphanage checked into the situation and the mom brought the kids in saying she wanted to give them up for adoption again so they could have a better life. The mom said that David does occasionally ask people on the streets for money, but it seems apparent that the kids and family actually look well and they're not living on the streets. The O told Rosaline (their mom) to come back the next day with the dad as well so they could all really talk things out, but no one has shown up. It is probably best if the kids stay with their own family, they need consistency. Please sincerely pray for them though. The mom often seems tired and worn out to me. Please pray for her strength and joy. Pray for the dad to engage more with his kids (assuming he's not... he may very well be) and pray for the kids to have continued health and good moral upbringing. Pray most of all that they have the Lord in their lives. Rob and I would love to be in touch with the family more often, so pray that if it's God's will, He will open a door for this. Pray also that if they need the Lord, God would put a mentor in the center of their lives for His purpose. Thank you.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


I know... it's been a long time! Life is busy, and I love to spend time with Hannah more than time on the computer these days... but while she's napping let's see how far I can get. (I know I need to put up new pictures... I'll try soon!)

So here's the thing today. Lately... I have been a little frustrated with God. Let me just be honest. I feel like sometimes I pray and I pray.. and I see no answer.

WHY God when I pray for my gallbladder pain to go away, does it just keep coming, WHY when we are broke, do we pray and see no relief and actually see things get worse, why do children live in poverty, why do innocent children die, why do family members get hurt, why are some men so horrible to their significant others, why can't some women have babies, why!!?? Sometimes I just want to scream at God WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????? Have you ever felt like that!? PLEASE tell me I'm not alone.

During my prayer time today though God gave me some insight and reminders. Sometimes when we feel surrounded by frustrations or sadness, we lose sight of the blessings, and more often than not the blessings are more numerous... make a list of negatives and positives next to each other... take your time though, like me, it's possible you've lost sight of the blessings and need time to rediscover them.

There can be SO many reasons for the negatives. Sometimes, we allow ourselves to be stuck in a bad situation when God does has a door open for us to escape RIGHT in front of us. In those situations, God cannot be blamed...

God can never be blamed.

As I look in the Bible I see very few times, if ANY at all, that GOD causes the negative things to happen. Even in Job's case... the bad did not come from GOD it came from the Devil. And in the end of that story Job came away blessed because, although he was frustrated with God, he never cursed God.

So where do these negatives come from... I often lose sight of the fact that there is so much CRUD in the world because we have the freedom to choose our own actions. That freedom is not a bad thing... it's a blessing. If we were not free to choose how to live our lives, we would merely be God's puppets, and we would not have the chance to make our own decisions... kind of like living under a dictator. But God loves us... like a good parent, He's there to step in but He let's us learn from our own choices. So the yuck in this world, even the diseases, often stem from somebodies freedom to choose gone wrong... someone abusing their freedom and making bad choices.

And then there is this most important thing to remember. God will turn ALL things good for those that love them. Even the death of a family member. It's hard to see it when you're in the midst of the grief... but there is a big picture. For example, when my dad died, I had to remember cancer did not AND NEVER DOES come from the hand of God, it comes from the pollution of this imperfect world. But God can bring healing, and if He doesn't it may be that He sees a big picture that we don't. I know that my Dad's death brought A LOT of people closer to God, including myself. Many people saw him stay close to God even while he suffered, and they knew he had something they didn't have yet, but they wanted... and that's a deep faith. I honestly want to say I don't believe it was God's will for my dad to die, but isn't that putting God in a box. HE saw the big picture. Wouldn't it be better to have my dad die and 100 people become believers than my dad to live and those same 100 people never have a major change in their lives and possibly never have eternal life?

I put God in the box a lot. I USED to believe growing up that God was just God... what will be will be... if someone is sick... we could always HOPE that God might heal them. I eventually came to see that I was putting God in an untouchable box...forgetting that he gave us the power of the Holy Spirit to pray for healing and other things. God is very near to us... like a friend.

But then, I ended up putting Him in another box... assuming He always will heal everyone etc... I have FINALLY learned to realize, it's somewhere in between. More often than not, we can move God with our prayers. More often than not, He will HEAL. But when we don't see that happen... when we pray and the results are not always good... we need to realize, God sees the big picture... He knows why things have to happen the way they do.

One thing I know... whether we get the outcome we want or not with our prayers... God is always good. He will always take care of us. He always hears us and He KNOWS our hearts.

When we choose to believe in Him and have faith in Him we should choose to accept HE IS GOD and we are not. God does work in mysterious ways. We need to accept that in every movement He makes He has us in mind ALWAYS, none of us are forgotten, not for a moment. When we accept Him, we also accept He is a God that works outSIDE of a box. NOTHING can limit Him. We accept to love and believe in a God who works how HE wants to and when He wants to. If we don't accept that we will have constant struggles with our faith (just saying... from experience).

SO I guess, I wrote this blog entry today to help me sort that all out in front of me and to say that starting again, today, I will accept God how He is. I will be ok with what He does and what He chooses not to do. I know I have the power and authority of the Holy Spirit in me. And most of the time that will move mountains, but I am ok with it if God tells a mountain in my life to sit still for a while because maybe it's to shelter me from what might be on the other side of it if it moves, or to strengthen me as I push against it. You see... we need a certain amount of resistance in our lives or we will be limp and purposeless. If you never walked... if your feet never had to meet the resistance of the pavement, your muscles would never get stronger, if your hand never blistered while you did the spring raking... you would never get the callus on your hand that makes summer chores easier to deal with!

So with your problems... first SERIOUSLY reflect on yourself, are you sitting yourself in the middle of trouble when there is a better way, and if that is not the case, choose to be content with God, He sees things better than we do. There is NO sense in trying to figure it all out... because God already has and He knows what's happening. He will take care of us.

So please add to this and comment on it how you like. What's your opinion!? We can all learn from each other and help each other to view God in the right light!

Friday, February 13, 2009

A Little More Of Me....

I'm now over 6lbs 13oz and 21 inches long! I can hold my own bottle (kinda), "stand" on my strong legs and I turn my head different directions while laying on mommy... and I love to stare at EVERYTHING!!! And... I am STARTING to let mom and dad sleep a little more at night!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Here She Is

We have not fallen off the face of the Earth!!!! We've just been enjoying life and not letting much steal us away from our sweet baby girl. But here she is! Born Jan 16. 6lbs 5 oz 18 inches long. Born by C-Section. At 5:33 pm. She is such a GOOD baby. Already starting to get into a routine. There is NOTHING like being a parent!!!!!! It's a glorious thing and worth every tiring moment!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Plan

Dr. Appt. went well. I'm still not dialated. But we are going into the hosp. 7:00 Thursday night, getting induced first thing Friday morning. I would LOVE prayers for a quick and easy delivery. God's peace is stronger than Petosin's wrath!!! I keep repeating that to myself.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Things Are Changing!

Tommy found a forever home.... we think...

AND Hannah dropped!! I Think.... but I've never quite experienced this before...
Two days ago I just woke up feeling really weird, but couldn't put my finger on it. Then I felt my belly and realized... I could feel my ENTIRE rib cage and even had a little empty spot under my sternum. Also kinda achy in the pelvic bones... I assume this means she's dropped!? We will know for sure on Monday, my next appointment! Thanks for praying!!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Latest

Sorry I haven't updated!!! =)
The latest news is that my blood pressure is down. I'm off bed rest but just have to take it easy.

If I don't have Hannah by NEXT Thursday night I will most likely go in to the hospital Thursday night and be induce Friday morning. It's coming soon!!!! Hannah's Non Stress Tests have all been fine! Thank you Lord. My next update jut might be a baby picture!!!!!

On a side note... we've been blessed to become foster parents of a one and a half year old Yellow Lab... we are desperately looking for a new home for him before Hannah comes. If you know anyone interested that would give him a VERY good home please let us know!!!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Yesterday at the appointment the Dr. didn't see the need to check if I was dilated yet... he recommended me stopping the Brethaine so my contractions can progress naturally now. Still high blood pressure... so he wants me to rest. If I don't go into active labor in the next two weeks He will induce me at 37 weeks. Ugh.... I DON'T want to be induced.... I'm praying I just go into labor. He will check to see if I am dilated next Monday and if I am .... that might change the plans a little... then they might induce sooner. Please just pray I go SAFELY into labor on my own. =)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Results So Far

Thanks SO SO SO much!!! God has heard your prayers. We had a complete level 2 ultrasound this morning and everything looks great. There is still too much fluid... but no known reason for it. One possibility is that she cannot swallow correctly but they won't be able to tell that until she's born, at which time they'll put a feeding tube into her belly through her esophagus to make sure there's nothing blocking her ability to swallow. If she was not able to swallow, it could explain an extra amount of fluid.
Hannah looks perfect. Her lungs, kidneys, heart, brain, physical structure, intestines, spine etc... all look good. Her head is still a little bigger than her body, but the Dr. thought it might be a hereditary thing since there is no swelling on the brain and not too extreme of a difference. It looks like the amniotic fluid has gone down even though it's still high. The main concern since there is extra fluid is that the baby can move so much she may be at risk of a cord around the neck, also there is a risk that the cord could try to be born before her, causing a blood flow cut off to her. SO chances are if I'm not dialated this monday, they might take me off the contraction meds and allow me to go into labor if I go. If I'm dialated this Monday they might choose induce labor soon so she can be born in a controlled atmosphere and the cord would not fall in the way. I'm still on bed rest for high blood pressure. But enjoying the fire and the Christmas Tree. Rob has been an awesome Husband taking care of things around here. Thanks so much for your prayers!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
Love Hope

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Prayer Request

I'm back on bed rest and

without going into too many details please just pray that Hannah is safe and that my body and hers function properly along with God's will. I have more amniotic fluid in me than I should, so on Monday we will have another ultrasound and Doc appointment to try to get down to the nitty gritty of why. Nothing too alarming, but please just pray in agreement with us that this pregnancy would align itself with God's will and be completely healthy in it's last few weeks as it has been up to this point. More details soon. Until's a new picture of our baby girl!!! Don't you just want to pinch those CHEEKS!!!!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Praise God!

I'm off bed rest but I'm supposed to take it easy. My blood pressure is still high but not as high as it was. I can go back to work!!! My contractions were not and are not Braxton Hicks, they are actual Preterm contractions, but I had a test done~ a LOVELY test I might add~ and the results showed I was safe from going into labor for at least the next two weeks! Pray that I really don't go into Labor until I'm to term though, and that my blood pressure will keep dropping. Thanks for all your prayers!!!

Friday, December 12, 2008

well hmmmmm....

It seems I have high bloodpressure and am having too many contractions too early.... so bedrest until at least Monday...then the doc will reevaluate! I'll keep you posted.

Monday, December 8, 2008


It has amazed me how life has been reeling lately as we get closer to Hannah's birth.

I have been trying to get four months of lesson plans done ahead of time for substitute teachers... I didn't think that would be so bad... just a lot of sitting at the computer... but I soon have come to find.. .that also means running to the store ahead of time to buy 4 months of supplies, pulling 4 months of story books of the shelf and 4 months worth of files out of the cabinet... it seems so hard to let my kids go! I have AWESOME teachers coming in to replace me... but they deserve the best preparations... so that has been driving me BATTY!!!!

Also... I have been having light contractions anywhere from 5 minutes apart to 30 minutes apart... it's kinda cool... a little uncomfortable though, and it just makes me think of the reality of my Beautiful Baby Girl coming anytime! I want her too come when GOD wants her to come... but I want to be ready! =)

The room is ready... ready enough to live in... but of course I would still love an entire day to nest in it a little more.

The house is ready... but I feel like every tiny dust bunny that pops up MUST be removed IMMEDIATELY!! =) Hehehe... I know soon the reality will hit me... that this will become an impossible task.

Then I was reminded today that Hannah is coming into the world at the end of the TAX SEASON!!! Meaning... I need to get on the ball and be prepared to close the books and send out tax forms.... uggghhhhhh

I have not kept up with this blog because of all this craziness... =) not to mention parent teacher conferences every night in December. But I DO LOVE conferences.

Life is now fast paced and I assume it will be like this for quite a while.

I have an appointment with the Doc. Thursday! If there is any new news I will let you know! AND YES... I KNOW... BELLY PICS!!! I just have to take the time to pose!!! You won't believe my belly. Last week a little girl I used to teach saw me, and her mommy was telling her I was going to have a baby... the little girl said "She doesn't have a baby in there... she just ate the WHOLE Turkey!" And my friends... she could not have hit the nail on the head any more directly... I look like the thanksgiving turkey is stuck in my belly.... minus the drumsticks! =)

BUT I LOVE IT!!! I can't wait to kiss my girl though!!! I'm ready to see her!!!!!!!

Thanks for your prayers!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Well the Doc. said everything looks good! Not much to update you on... but no news can be good news. I have been struggling with losing feeling in my hands, but the doctor said that is normal for some women during pregnancy. Hannah LOVES to move and wiggle and kick. Especially at about 5:00 every morning... but I love it! I just lay there and LOVE it!!!

My dear dear DEAR coworkers threw me a surprise shower. I was so blessed. They went in on buying me a Moses Basket and a cute Onsie. I also received many other nice things. Thanks to everyone who made it happen!

My family is throwing us a shower this weekend. It's such a blessing when you're surrounded by so many people that love you and want to bless you. It's humbling and such a blessing.

I am getting in panic phase since the doctor told me I should be prepared to go into labor anytime after January 1st (even though our due date is still Feb 3rd). It just makes me think of the things we still DON'T have... yikes......

But if God takes care of the birds and dresses the flowers... He will take care of Hannah too.

David and Guillanda have been on my heart a lot lately. I get very emotional when I think of them (which is still very often). Please just continue to keep them in your prayers.

That's all for now!