WHY????

I know... it's been a long time! Life is busy, and I love to spend time with Hannah more than time on the computer these days... but while she's napping let's see how far I can get. (I know I need to put up new pictures... I'll try soon!)

So here's the thing today. Lately... I have been a little frustrated with God. Let me just be honest. I feel like sometimes I pray and I pray.. and I see no answer.

WHY God when I pray for my gallbladder pain to go away, does it just keep coming, WHY when we are broke, do we pray and see no relief and actually see things get worse, why do children live in poverty, why do innocent children die, why do family members get hurt, why are some men so horrible to their significant others, why can't some women have babies, why!!?? Sometimes I just want to scream at God WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????? Have you ever felt like that!? PLEASE tell me I'm not alone.

During my prayer time today though God gave me some insight and reminders. Sometimes when we feel surrounded by frustrations or sadness, we lose sight of the blessings, and more often than not the blessings are more numerous... make a list of negatives and positives next to each other... take your time though, like me, it's possible you've lost sight of the blessings and need time to rediscover them.

There can be SO many reasons for the negatives. Sometimes, we allow ourselves to be stuck in a bad situation when God does has a door open for us to escape RIGHT in front of us. In those situations, God cannot be blamed...

God can never be blamed.

As I look in the Bible I see very few times, if ANY at all, that GOD causes the negative things to happen. Even in Job's case... the bad did not come from GOD it came from the Devil. And in the end of that story Job came away blessed because, although he was frustrated with God, he never cursed God.

So where do these negatives come from... I often lose sight of the fact that there is so much CRUD in the world because we have the freedom to choose our own actions. That freedom is not a bad thing... it's a blessing. If we were not free to choose how to live our lives, we would merely be God's puppets, and we would not have the chance to make our own decisions... kind of like living under a dictator. But God loves us... like a good parent, He's there to step in but He let's us learn from our own choices. So the yuck in this world, even the diseases, often stem from somebodies freedom to choose gone wrong... someone abusing their freedom and making bad choices.

And then there is this most important thing to remember. God will turn ALL things good for those that love them. Even the death of a family member. It's hard to see it when you're in the midst of the grief... but there is a big picture. For example, when my dad died, I had to remember cancer did not AND NEVER DOES come from the hand of God, it comes from the pollution of this imperfect world. But God can bring healing, and if He doesn't it may be that He sees a big picture that we don't. I know that my Dad's death brought A LOT of people closer to God, including myself. Many people saw him stay close to God even while he suffered, and they knew he had something they didn't have yet, but they wanted... and that's a deep faith. I honestly want to say I don't believe it was God's will for my dad to die, but isn't that putting God in a box. HE saw the big picture. Wouldn't it be better to have my dad die and 100 people become believers than my dad to live and those same 100 people never have a major change in their lives and possibly never have eternal life?

I put God in the box a lot. I USED to believe growing up that God was just God... what will be will be... if someone is sick... we could always HOPE that God might heal them. I eventually came to see that I was putting God in an untouchable box...forgetting that he gave us the power of the Holy Spirit to pray for healing and other things. God is very near to us... like a friend.

But then, I ended up putting Him in another box... assuming He always will heal everyone etc... I have FINALLY learned to realize, it's somewhere in between. More often than not, we can move God with our prayers. More often than not, He will HEAL. But when we don't see that happen... when we pray and the results are not always good... we need to realize, God sees the big picture... He knows why things have to happen the way they do.

One thing I know... whether we get the outcome we want or not with our prayers... God is always good. He will always take care of us. He always hears us and He KNOWS our hearts.

When we choose to believe in Him and have faith in Him we should choose to accept HE IS GOD and we are not. God does work in mysterious ways. We need to accept that in every movement He makes He has us in mind ALWAYS, none of us are forgotten, not for a moment. When we accept Him, we also accept He is a God that works outSIDE of a box. NOTHING can limit Him. We accept to love and believe in a God who works how HE wants to and when He wants to. If we don't accept that we will have constant struggles with our faith (just saying... from experience).

SO I guess, I wrote this blog entry today to help me sort that all out in front of me and to say that starting again, today, I will accept God how He is. I will be ok with what He does and what He chooses not to do. I know I have the power and authority of the Holy Spirit in me. And most of the time that will move mountains, but I am ok with it if God tells a mountain in my life to sit still for a while because maybe it's to shelter me from what might be on the other side of it if it moves, or to strengthen me as I push against it. You see... we need a certain amount of resistance in our lives or we will be limp and purposeless. If you never walked... if your feet never had to meet the resistance of the pavement, your muscles would never get stronger, if your hand never blistered while you did the spring raking... you would never get the callus on your hand that makes summer chores easier to deal with!

So with your problems... first SERIOUSLY reflect on yourself, are you sitting yourself in the middle of trouble when there is a better way, and if that is not the case, choose to be content with God, He sees things better than we do. There is NO sense in trying to figure it all out... because God already has and He knows what's happening. He will take care of us.

So please add to this and comment on it how you like. What's your opinion!? We can all learn from each other and help each other to view God in the right light!