This and That

Sorry if that last post was a little too emotional for some of you! =)

I just can't put into words what it felt like seeing our baby for the first time. I had always loved that song since we started adopting David and Guillanda, it seemed like it spoke of a family mixed by biology and adoption, womb and heart... a perfect fit for our family. I just bawl each time I hear that song, because it includes all my kids and puts into perfect words how I feel for them. Some people have been wondering if Rob and I feel greater love for our birth baby... but honestly... I can only say... seeing her for the first time was just as emotional as the moment we knew David and Guillanda were supposed to be part of our life. I don't say that to devalue this little one growing inside of me... but each child is equally valued by God.... and in my heart, David and Guillanda will always be part of our family, and I hope our entire family will grow to understand that in a healthy way in which they all feel just as valued.


So the ultrasound... was... AWESOME... I didn't want it to end!!! At all!!! I loved watching our little one move around... and she moves a LOT! Jeepers... they had a hard time getting pictures of her... that ultrasound wand went screaming around my belly at points. I think we have an active worshiper on our hands!!! Certainly not a traditionalist I would guess.

It was awesome hearing Rob's comments and amazement. Not much can draw you closer than a child!!! It's certainly God's design. I can feel the baby move a lot more... I think we might have had our first chance at feeling hiccups yesterday. And baby kicked my mom for her birthday! My nephew got a chance to feel baby kick too.

I honestly CANNOT imagine not having life in me... I can't wait for her to come... but how WEIRD will it feel when there's no more twisting and turning in me where ever I go!!?? Hopefully it's God's will to send us our next one right away!!! =)

So God gave me a beautiful word about our baby and other things today.

As I sat on our porch and prayed, near the end of my prayer, little birds of all different types started flying from here and there and landing on our barn roof. And as they were flying around I heard them all chirping... but most of all... I heard a Robin making a beautiful song. I thought that was weird... a Robin is usually heard singing like that in the spring, not the fall... fall is for Blue Jays! But God seemed to say to me, "even in the end seasons new life can be heard and celebrated, that's how it will be with your child". I'm a very season oriented person... I love all 4 seasons... but I find a lot of times my spiritual and emotional life seems to parallel the actual seasons. This time... it's doesn't seem to be going that way. Last year at this time exactly we were getting a phone call saying our children were going back home with their birth parents. It seemed as the leaves were starting to fall, so was one of our dreams. And spring... brought some healing... some new growth... and one special new growth found in my belly in May. But wait...our little new life... will be coming in the heart of winter. That... does not parallel the season... new life in the middle of winter!!?? I think it's God's way of showing me to be more open minded. We cannot restrict or predict His actions by how life has gone in the past. He has turned our end season, into a new season worth celebrating!

Also, on a side note, while I was praying, I asked God to decrease my selfishness and increase my love and interest in other people... I asked Him to increase my selfLESSness. As I look at this birds on my barn roof...(the STRANGE mix... we're not just talking a common flock... for some reason chickadees, crows, mourning doves, Robins, cowbirds, pheobes and finches were ALL sitting on my roof, God knows I LOVE birds) God said... if I can increase the birds for you, how much more can I increase your selflessness. Just believe.

God is so awesome!!!! Like Christmas every morning!! I love Him!
More updates soon... belly pictures too... coming soon... I guess......