What's New? Oh... it's all "POSITIVE"

So you may be wondering what's with the blog change. The kid's names back to their given ones, a new title etc...



We have finally come to that place of peace that we could only wait for. We now have peace to move along with our family. We stopped everything for David and Guillanda... (now trying to refer to them with their birth names out of respect for their birth parents)... as we still know we should have, but now it's time to move forward. We started getting that sense a little over a month ago.



We still cling to these two kids. We still have hope that they may come home still. But we are also willing to lay it in front of God's feet and move along. Move ALONG, not move ON, not move PAST, but move along... move forward.



We are still a covering for them by praying for them every day, our home is eternally open to them, in a sense they will always be our first born children. Always our children in our hearts. I just will never get past the weeks that we really were mama and papa to them in a time of need. Changing a baby girls diapers and watching over an active boy. Laughing and tickling... not to mention the crying. And I will never forget these two memories for sure... a baby girl sleeping on top of me in peace all night and a young boy wanting already to cuddle with his mama at 5:30 in the morning shoving me over and crawling into bed with me. Those are such intimate memories and some of the best. I hope some day we will all make more awesome memories together again.

Please continue to pray for the kids and their family. For health and unity and most of all for God to be the center of their lives.



Moving forward is hard. But now we are even more sure than ever it's time. You see... although we sensed over a month ago it was time to, a week ago we found out....



I am pregnant! Praise God!!



Let me tell the entire story

On mother's day I was a bit bummed for obvious reasons. That night I went up to bed carrying my Bible to read before I went to sleep. Once I got up the stairs... I just felt discouraged and said... "Lord.... I'm sorry... I just want to go to bed... I don't have the heart to read tonight... please forgive me" His Spirit quickly responded by saying... "Are you really going to let the discourager get the last word tonight?" Then I knew I should read.

As I opened my Bible... I didn't even know where to start, my heart wasn't in it but I wanted to give God a chance. So I opened my Bible to a random spot in which I tucked my church bulletin. And there in front of me was the story of Hannah. Particularly the part where Eli told her to go and may she receive from the Lord what she had asked. (Hannah was unable to have children, but the Lord blessed her and allowed her to after all... the story is in 1 Samuel 1) That really struck a chord with me. I read the whole story and just closed my eyes and began to pray "Lord, I either think You're trying to tell me something.... or this is just salt in the wound. I don't want to dramatize this and run away with this thinking you're speaking to me... but I want confirmation and to give You credit if you are. Lord, I know I should always wait for scriptural confirmation when I sense you speaking, so God, somehow soon, please confirm this if your trying to tell me something."

So as I got ready to snuggle into bed and close my Bible I noticed a highlighted verse sitting in front of me from Daniel 10:12 "...Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, Your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer."

I started crying my eyes out... "Lord this is either You.... or this is VERY cruel... and YOU'RE not cruel. You knew how my day went... I don't believe you would do this to me."

I woke up Rob and we prayed and cried together and believed... we were pregnant.

About three weeks went by... The entire time Rob and I joked undercover about being pregnant... partly believing and to be honest... partly guarding our hearts from what might be about the 20th let down.

then... it was confirmed last Sunday... we are pregnant.

We are SO SO grateful for what the Lord has done! Please praise God with us!!